Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What we are learning along the way..

I was happy to go out last night with a good friend for dinner and what ended up being the beginning of Christmas shopping for me. I always say I'll start early, but never do, either from time contraints or budgetary, but I always end up waiting til the last minute.

It had been a long day. James spent the day at home sick, napping and resting and getting over a stomach bug that I'm sure had something to do with the fact he ate sardines on Monday! (YUCK!)

I had the distinct joy and pleasure to take Casey to the dentist for some long over due work he needed done. When we had gone to a different pediatric dentist 2 years ago for some work on him, he was given liquid versed and even with that he panicked. They could only do a minimum of the work because he freaked out. Cut to yesterday, and I had hoped against hope that he would handle it better, he's older now, and had done fine at his cleaning and check up, but unfortuntely, it wasn't to be so.

They got half of the work done, and will finish the rest next month, but next time he will be given something. (Why don't they furnish something for the parents?? )

It got me thinking that Casey, and for that matter, any first child, he has become our Guinea pig. He gets things tried out on him first, and while we end up learning loads of stuff from our experiences, I do hate that it works out like this. I keep on reminding myself that the day he was born I apoligized to him in advance for screwing him up! I knew we would learn so much from him and because of him! Have to love him for that!

On a sad note though, the tooth fairy did come last night, the dentist had pulled part of a baby tooth that had not fallen out when the permanent tooth came up under it, so we had that to put under his pillow. This morning when I woke him up, I asked if the tooth fairy had come and he said that Dad had put money under his pillow. Crap, now he's going to figure out about Santa as well! We are done for!

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Out of Body Experiences

So since I've had this life altering surgery and have begun to start to emerge from my shell into the sunlight, I've started having really funny experiences.

I'm down 80 pounds (yea, me!), and recently took the plunge and bought some new clothes. I debated what to buy, what size to buy and how much of any one thing to get. The addage is that what fits today will hang on you tomorrow.

I opted for going 2 sizes smaller. My pre surgery clothes, pants, capris and shorts to be exact were already falling off me as it was, so I knew I could manage 2 smaller sizes. I'm happy to report that my new pants and capris are all fitting well, I even realized this morning that new pants were already starting to feel like the pup-tents my old pants were doing a few weeks ago!

I'm taking baby steps with the shirts, I think the emotional need I have to not feel constrained in my clothes will be an issue I have to deal with for a while. I tried a few shirts on over the weekend when I was out searching for new shoes (Don't get me started on the shoe issue.. my feet have well and truly shrunk!).. Anyway, I digress..

I'm between 2 sizes in shirts, and that is great as well! I tried the smaller size on, it fit, and wowzah! I got to meet my waist again for the first time in a while! I've always loved my waist, the hips I could have done without, but my waist has always been something I've not hated!

So, about the out of body experiences. I find myself walking through the grocery story, humming a tune, feeling absolutely fabulous about my new self! I know people may be looking at me thinking "Hey, look at that big girl".. but since I know how far I've come, and how much I've lost, I feel like I'm just very tiny! I don't remember feeling this light the last time I weighed this much, which I have estimated is about 10 years or so ago.

I find myself looking at my wrists, they seem so very small and delicate these days, and when I put my hand to my collerbone, it feels positively boney! I do love all this.

I love feeling light, and free and giddy.

After all, I am a giddy girl!