Post Holiday Let Down

So it's almost New Year's and I suppose this is the time to sit and ponder and think about what was and what is about to come.

I guess it's supposed to be like that, but I don't have the time or energy to do it. I'm happy to land in bed by 9:30, read a few pages of my new wonderful Jonathan Kellerman book, and lights out by 10, only to be awoken at midnight by a squirmy visitor to our bed. Lately, that's been Owen.. slinks up between James and I, thinks we don't feel him, and slides under the sheets, feet freezing us out!

But I digress.. While I am very glad the rush of the holidays are over, it makes me a bit sad that the season is on it's way out the door again. I was thinking of a friend who I can hear saying about the task of Christmas cards, "Thank goodness that's over, what a chore.. one more thing I HAVE to do".. well, it got me thinking, why do it? If it's such a chore, such a hassle, why?

This is the first year in about 10 years or so that I didn't do cards. (I almost said We, but that would imply that James has something to do with the process of taking said picture, getting them developed, ordered, letter written, labels printed, envelopes stuffed and stamped. ).. but I digress again, this husband of mine is happy to show up for the picture, but his involvement ends there!

So, back to the year of No cards.. I just didn't have it in me. I had emailed pictures of the boys to friends a few months ago, so that will have to suffice for the time being.
The boys are growing like weeds, but a bit longer won't make that big of a difference.

So, we survived Christmas, it was a small one this year, and I found it was ok. I sweated the number of gifts we had, wondered if I shouldn't go out and sell some plasma to get more, but held back, and it was ok. The boys loved what they got, had a ball being with each other, even when they were calling each other buttheads every 10 seconds, and Owen telling us every 10 seconds that someone was calling someone a butthead!

I'm taking joy in what I have. Healthy family, good kids, about to notch 20 years on James and I's anniversary belt, great friends.. what I always wanted. What I used to pray for, sit in the dark and cry for, and now I have it.
I want the holiday to go on... the little sliver of time that is right now.. but alas, it's moving on..
soon it will be all here again, and we'll be reflecting on things next fall.

But, for now, here's to the season, to all we have, to having all we want!

Christmas week

Oh my Gosh, it's cold today!

My fingers are blue!

So we survived the busy weekend with 5 kids, and now it's back to work for some peace and quiet.

The twins are safely tucked away at school today, Casey is at home driving James NUTS!, and I'm looking forward to dinner out tonight with my mom and Jill.

3 1/2 days til Santa... will the kids make it??? I hope so, they are busting at the seams.

James and I got to listen to the boys ask us about 50 times if Molly and Bolivia.. poor Olivia, she'll always be Bolivia to us now!. if they could sleep over, see them, be their sisters.. basically see them everyday for the rest of their lives.

I'm so glad that they all like each other. The girls really look up to the boys. I keep telling Casey it's a good thing to be a leader and a teacher.

Ok, back to work now. Now I have to keep this updated somewhat, I've put the address for all the world to see!

No.. all 5 are not mine!

WHEW!!!!

A full day with 5 kids, 4 of whom are under 5.. that spells exhaustion!

My mom and I spent the day entertaining the kids.. I felt like the scene from the movie "Bye Bye Love".. it starts out with the song "Rawhide" playing and the divorced dads are taking their kids all over town to keep them entertained. By the end the song has slowed down to wharbling, and everyone is dragging. I know I am!

Thank God for bedtime!

We went to see Santa at the Spohn South, got to see Molly and Olivia freak at the sight of Santa.. then listen to Casey tell me Santa was a fake because he saw him changing in the bathroom. I tried to tell him that Santa doesn't wear his get up all the time, but the kid knows.

I was asked by 3 people if all 5 were mine. NO!
Do I look that insane??

Everyone was pretty well behaved, so we were feeling confident!

Lunch was a standard issue affair at McDonalds.. Spencer wearing his ketchup on his shirt, and Molly eating her's right out of the cup.

Another parent asking if all 5 were mine. No, dammit!

Then the girls got hair cuts, and then we went to the park to wrap up the afternoon.

A very nice mom at the park who asked me if all 5 were mine.. I said no, just the boys.. she said she thought that Owen and Spencer must be twins.. that shocked me.. no one has thought that outloud in at least 2 years!

Then home, dinner, play, and then bath and now thankfully bed.

When will these kids actually listen? I just don't know.
So tired of asking them to do something and being totally ignored. I'm told that this will pass, but I don't think so.

I'm going to die listening to Owen whine that Spencer called him a butthead. And then have to yell at Casey for putting Spencer into a head lock. WHEN WILL IT END?????

Ok, off to bed soon..
More random thoughts sometime soon!

Christmas Already..

Well, it's been a while since I've written anything, but somehow I've remembered my address here, and here I am.

Christmas is a week away, and as usual I'm not nearly ready.

It will be a small one this year, actually, I like the small ones, less pressure to perform!

The boys are gearing up for Santa, and I'm holding Santa over their head every chance I can!

Bribery, Catholic guilt and Fear of God are the ways I operate. Hey, go with what you know, right?

My sister Jill and her husband and 2 daughters are arriving today. It should be a busy week or so.

My mom leaves the day after Christmas for 10 days in the Holy Land. I know she's excited. She is going with a priest friend of hers, and I know she is looking forward to going someplace new, and meeting new people. I'll be interested to see the pictures she comes back with!


I guess above all of the recent stuff, the news is that I'm working now.
I got a job in August with a company that makes and manufactures mechanical seals, industrial packing and technical products. I knew nothing of anything when I started, and while I don't know much now, I do know more than I did when I started. I've met lots of nice people and the hours are good.

Have to go..

7am wake up call!

Knock Knock.. pound pound on our bedroom door at 7am everyday by our youngest twin demanding he be let in to share his morning thoughts with us.

What a way to wake up every day!

A few months ago we started locking our bedroom door at night, aforementioned youngest twin had gotten into the nasty habit of coming in during the night, steam rolling his way in between James and I and taking over the bed. James would, on most nights, just get up and sleep on the sofa. I had had enough and started locking our door. The door is actually a set of double doors, and so when Spencer starts banging at Oh Dark Early each day, the doors shake a bit and he stands talking between the two doors.

I suppose it's even funnier because this Texas born little boy speaks like he's from Boston and that accent is so cute.

Most mornings I'm pulled out of a deep sleep and can barely crack an eyelid open before we've received a litany of verbage from him about what he needs to tell us. Usually consisting of why he needs to eat cold leftover pizza for breakfast, and that he needs a drink.

Add to that his 2 older brothers who at some point join in the game and stand there and try to open the door as well.

Casey, our nearly 8 year old has actually become a bit of a lock picker... granted it's not Ft. Knox, but he's been known to get that door unlocked. He tells me that he uses either a poker of sorts, we do have a few of them around in case any of them lock themselves in, but he's quite adept at doing it himself.

So then the fun begins.. in they all come, Spencer, aka Tank, worms his way in between James and I, Owen, our older twin stands there asking for Moke.. (translated from 4 year old speak into Milk), and Casey laying on the floor in a heap of whining and fake tears that he didn't get to lay between mom and dad.

Ah, the joy.

So James and I are pulled from bed, and our day begins!

Love those boys!

Now what?

Ok,

So I've been inspired to start blogging by my friend Kristen who blogs here. She's funny and witty and driven mad on a daily basis by her kids, as am I, so I thought why shouldn't I share the insanity?

My life these days is upside down.

I don't know if I need to introduce myself, who will be reading this anyway?

So, here goes, a short bio..

James and I have been married 19 1/2 years, January 09 will be our 2oth. WOW!
We have 3 sons... Casey is nearly 8 and like Kristen, we have twins, although we have boys, Owen and Spencer who just turned 4 in May.

So needless to say, we're busy.

I stay at home at this point, although I am eager to get out in the world and find my way away from the kids.

It occured to me, oh, a while ago I guess, that I never found out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I stumbled through childhood and the teenage years, literally bumped into my husband at work one day, got married at 20, and spent the next round about 11 years or so trying to become a parent.

The insanity of my days now makes me wonder if the heavens weren't trying to tell me something all those years when my body wasn't getting pregnant. Maybe we had HUGE caution lights blinking at us and we were too dumb to see them. Probably. I've now been suffering from baby brain for 8 years, I would have thought it would have gotten better by now, but no.
I'm forgetful, blank lots of times, and still very blond.

So, as to the title of the little blog thingy, Now what?

Ok, so we've got the kids, finally... tales of how the kids came to be at a later date.. but now they are here, they are all in one piece, all walk, talk, scream, laugh, cry and are seeming to be normally functioning little people, all with good chances of being real members of the human race one day. The question for me though, is what do I do now?

The endless sleepless nights are over, the kids are all in some sort of school/preschool thing now, and I am seeing the tiniest of lights at the end of the tunnel... some of my old freedom is coming back, but what do I do with it?

About a year ago I decided to go back to school to study medical coding. A year later I've taken 3 classes and have plans to take 2 more in the fall, but at the snails pace I'm going, I might be done by the time the boys graduate. I know it takes time.

Maybe I'm having midlife crisis... probably am... turned 40 in March.... NEVER thought that would happen.

Life is upside now... husband is looking for a new job... we've got a few good prospects, but it's scary.

I've just had this thought.... for the last 19 years or so I've never taken the time to think about what I would do... down the road past the kids that James was always POSITIVE we would have.
My life hasn't ended up quite where I thought it would. But I know I'm not any different from anyone else in that, so I'm not complaining. I'm just not sure what to do now.

I spend a lot of time thinking about it...
I guess I'll do more of it here...

here's to figuring it out!